It's been a while since I've posted. Life has just been CRAZY town over here! I can hardly seem to finish a thought most days, much less try to compose a blog post! Even though I SO want to!!
Okay, so in my last post I talked about the book of Joshua and how he said "how long will you wait before you go and take possession?"...it's a good one, I need to reread it myself! But I wanted to give you a little more back story. God has been speaking to me over the last 6 months about stretching out, not holding back, expecting him to fill empty places, etc. So, I partnered with him and began asking for more, not really sure what that "more" actually was. "Okay God! I'm gonna stretch out!- so expand us! Expand WITH us..." WElp... I got what I asked for! Haha. And it's almost too much for me to even handle.
In the natural, this looks like my husband being laid off from a job that was absolute misery- an answer to prayer, really. Deliverance. He has been going to school for a few years trying to get his pre requisites for an arts and animation degree, but it's been super difficult with all that I had going on, babies, work, etc. I had the thought pretty quickly after he got laid off that maybe it was time for him to pursue school full time and I would go back to work. I was excited and terrified all at once! But I began to pray- God, if this is the way, you're going to have to open up a job for me.
I went to work that night, and saw that my manager had posted 2 part time positions. They didn't currently apply to me, they were for full time nurses to go down to part time. I was on-call. She just happened to be in her office (at midnight!) and I asked her if there was a possibility of no one wanted that position, if I could apply. She said "I'd absolutely love to give you this position." So again, I sat on it and just was like "what is God even doing! IT's too much transition! Too much! I can't handle this!" Well, ladies and gentleman, this is what happens when you ask for MORE. It will probably feel like too much simply because you aren't used to it.
Of course we asked our trusted people, and began to make a plan. I was eventually given that position, and my husband signed up for classes. I not only got the position, but it was found out upon my paperwork that I had been missing out on an hourly incentive for having my Bachelor's degree, and I received a raise in addition to that. THAT is what favor looks like. It is tangible.
Of course no adventure would be complete without a few major and minor freak outs by none other than myself. Turns out I don't do transitions super well. My essential oils helped, but still...I am me. And it turns out God wanted to work on me a little bit throughout this as well. He began to show me some lies I was believing about myself: namely that I wouldn't be a good mom if I worked too (raise your hands if that feels like you!), that I'm not cut out to handle all this, etc. He also showed me where I started believing those lies, and we began to get rid of them one by one. One day whilst freaking out (aka trying to control every living thing), I heard that still small voice "Hey, you...this isn't all up to you to figure out. I'm the one providing, making a way for you, protecting you, covering you and your husband and girls. You can RELAX and let me do it." It's not all up to me. I get to partner with God in this crazy journey, I get to do some hard things, and I get to watch him make the difficult easy! More to come...
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