No fear in love

^{1 John 4:18} There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

This is one of my favorite verses of all time, yet, many of us (including myself!) never understand that perfect love and how love itself can drive away fear. I am just now starting to understand how perfect God's love is, and what that means. To understand this love that is stronger than death, we must first understand how one can die without it.

As infants, our brains develop only once they have securely and lovingly attached to the parent or caregiver. Knowing that one is sufficiently loved, he or she  can then go on to develop other necessary parts and learn and grow in complete health. When children are starved of that love, whether by neglect, abuse or whatever, they fail to thrive (this is where the term 'failure to thrive' came about, although there are some other causes of this as well, but for this post, bear with my original idea).

Whether we have had perfect parents, or not so perfect parents- all of our worldly examples pale in comparison to our perfect God. All other loves are counterfeit in comparison to His. I used to view God through a broken lens, I used to view that He was like certain people that have failed me, and that if His love was a broken and selfish as theirs, I wanted nothing to do with it. But then I learned that HIS love is perfect, that as perfect as others may seem, their love is still only a shadow or a taste of His love for us. 

I used to read this verse at a distance- wondering what this perfect love was like- wondering what it mean for perfect love to "cast out fear", as the two most important examples in my life tended to usher fear into the relationship, not cast it out. 

I don't know how it is happening, other then asking for a lot of prayer and praying in the love of God. IT says in the word that we are to know and understand and be deeply rooted in the love of God. His love is ESSENTIAL to our growth an development! If we don't find our security, our establishment and identity in His love, we too will fail to thrive. We will be easily wounded, proud, bitter, selfish and self seeking. But when we know and grow our roots down deep into His love, we become more like love HIMSELF- as God is love! The roots of his love begin to crowd out and overthrow roots of anything that is not like him.

Recently, I've been struggling with some issues of rejection. It seems this mom issue was more deeply intertwined than I care to admit! Roots of shame, bitterness, guilt, and rejection were so deeply established that once I get rid of one,  I realize another issue is sitting there as well. This issue with my mom has shown me how much I care about what others think of me, that I have allowed their disapproval and attacks shape the way I think about myself. Talk about identity crisis! 

How can God use situations like this? Their ugliness, bumpiness, swampiness? Perhaps He uses them to reveal how desperately needy for His love we have been all along! Stripped of everything that once caused us to feel secure and safe, we left with two choices: run to the world (drugs, food, alcohol, wrong relationships which will all inevitably fail us), or run to the Father, risk exposure and look at the root of the hurt in the first place and be restored. It is painful, I won't lie- but at what point do we leave the facade behind, the expectations of what everyone else wants us to be, and everything we are not that they make us so painfully aware of, and just BE who God made us to be? 

Perfect love casts OUT fear. I was just thinking and praying about starting a small group, and all in the same second became terrified- what if I fail? What if I jump in and realize I really have nothing to give? In that moment, I sensed God smile, we need not fear because His love is perfect towards us. He knows that our heart is to do good, to please and honor him, to serve him. He is not asking for perfection, just willingness. 

I read a story somewhere recently of a little girl who wanted to pick flowers for her mother. She plucked a few daisies, went in to grab a vase- which was too high off the ground. As she reached for it, it toppled to the ground and shattered into pieces. The mom went to the child, swooped her up and although she was upset about the broken vase, told the child how thoughtful the gift was and how much she loved her.  That is an example of perfect love- we try to do good, but end up maybe making a few mistakes or errors along the way. 

It is ONLY His love that drives out insecurity, fear of failure or wondering if we matter at all. I'm still a work in progress, and won't fully understand His love until we are face to face, but I want to be established in that love- that nothing else might move me! I pray the same for you.

Be encouraged today! God loves you right as you are, messed up as you are, broken as you are and discouraged as you are. Rest in His perfect love today.